Although we may be at different stages in our lives, most of us have dealt with narcissism at one point or another. Some people may not even be aware of what they are dealing with. This is because…
Narcissists are Emotional
Narcissists have a slick way of sliding into the lives of people that will care and potentially nurture them, only to totally take advantage of these people. Narcissists try to use manipulation to get what they want by any means, and make you the enemy if you don’t comply or call them out on their actions.
Many times, this happens all before you realize you’re being taken advantage of. And by then, the damage has already been done.
If you feel like you are at the stages of these difficult times, and need help, read How To Identify, Withdraw And Begin Your Emotional Healing After A Relationship With A Narcissist.
But for now, let’s get back to those heart vitamins and belly laughs.
An interesting fact about this world is that while we get to choose who we want to be in our life, we also have to accept that sometimes life hands us lemons… and sometimes those lemons are rotten. Yes, I am talking about that narcissist that you can’t really get away from… like your narcissistic ex with whom you may have a child, or in-laws, or maybe even blood-related family with whom you can’t bear to break ties. Sometimes- we just gotta deal with those rotten lemons.
Sometimes, you can’t avoid the “daily dose of narcissism”
Keep in mind:
- They are angry at themselves. Many narcissists project their own behaviors onto those around them. They do it so often that it can make you question your own sense of reality. Rest assured that they are definitely the crazy one, and their issues stem from deep psychological issues that only they can heal when and if they are ready. Many times, they will act certain ways just to get a rise out of you. It is important to keep your cool, and just let them be crazy by themselves. Disengage whenever possible, and be firm about your boundaries.
- Know that you are strong enough to stop the narcissist and put them into their place. Whether it be leaving an abusive partner, or setting boundaries with a family member or co-worker, you have to speak up for yourself and stand your ground. Think of it like standing up to the bully on the playground. The more often you do this, the easier it will become, and the less that bully is going to pick on you. Keeping a journal and writing down all of your thoughts and emotions about these situations is a great first step. Do not be afraid to reach out for professional help, and if things become hostile, the police may need to be contacted.
- Keep your conversations very “matter of fact” with the narcissist. They will try to twist your words, and project their outward behaviors onto you. Just pretend that you are dealing with a child. Speak calmly and tell them the facts. If they continue their “temper tantrum” disengage, and tell them to go to time out. Ok, maybe take yourself to time out… but whatever you do, it’s always best just to walk away. The narcissist wants your negative attention, and not giving them that attention gives you warm fuzzy feelings all over.
- And finally, if you really want to, (I gave up trying to understand the logic a long time ago) practice empathy. Try to understand the perspective of the narcissistic individual. But please, do not get emotionally involved in their drama, for this is another way they gain the sympathy of others just to take advantage and get special treatment. I’m not so sure there is much logical thinking that goes into being a narcissist, just a lack of empathy towards anyone but themselves. So yes, it’s ok to have compassion and understanding, but don’t be naive if you see these consistent behaviors.
10 Sad Traits About Narcissists Worth Knowing And Understanding