50 Christmas Jokes In 5 Minutes Too Funny To Not Tell Your Family (You’ll Find Some Land!)

It’s that time of the year. Christmas! A time for family, food, friends and gratitude. This time of year spending time with family is enjoyable and I’d encourage you to use this time to focus on the important things. First, remember that life is short and before the jokes start, we have to share some heart first!

Here’s one valuable article worth reading (separately) to connect with your parents on a deeper level today:

10 Questions To Ask Your Parents Before They Die

Without further Ado, here are 10 Christmas Jokes Too Good Not To Share With Your Family

1. What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph.

2. What did the stamp say to the Christmas card? Stick with me and we’ll go places!

3. How is Christmas exactly like your job? You do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.

4. Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? Because they were two deer!

5. What do you call a scary looking reindeer? A cari-boo.

6. What does the Queen call her Christmas Broadcast? The One Show!

7. What do reindeers say before they tell you a joke? This one’s gonna sleigh you!

8. What do you call Santa’s little helpers? Subordinate clauses.

9. Why don’t you ever see Santa in the hospital? Because he has private elf care!

10. What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has No-el.es

11. Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars? Their days are numbered!

12. How do you know when Santa’s around? You can always sense his presents.

13. How did Scrooge win the football game? The ghost of Christmas passed!

14. What do you call an elf that can sing and dance? Elfis.

15. What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas? Cross-mouse cards!

16. Where does Santa keep all his money? At the local snow bank.

17. What do you call a broke Santa? Saint Nickel-less

18. What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!

19. What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree? Nice gnawing you!

20. Why don’t crabs celebrate Christmas? Because they’re shell-fish.

21. What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas? Twerky!

22. What’s every parent’s favorite Christmas Carol? Silent Night.

23. What does Santa do with out of shape elves? Sends them to an elf Farm.

24. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A mince spy!

25. What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes or Ice Crispies.

26. How do snowmen get around? They ride an icicle!

27. What do you call Santa when he takes a break? Santa Pause.

28. What does Santa do when his elves misbehave? He gives them the sack!

29. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsil-itis!

30. What did Santa say to the smoker? Please don’t smoke, it’s bad for my elf!

31. What does the gingerbread man put on his bed? Cookie sheets!

32. Why was the little boy so cold on Christmas morning? Because it was Decembrrrrr!

33. How does a sheep say Merry Christmas? Fleece Navidad!

34. What comes at the end of Christmas Day? The letter “Y!”

35. What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with an iPad? A pineapple!

36. What happened to the thief who stole a Christmas calendar? He got 12 months.

37. In what year does New Year’s Day come before Christmas? EVERY year!

38. What does an elf study in school? The elf-abet.

39. What is a bird’s favorite Christmas story? The Finch Who Stole Christmas.

40. What kind of motorcycle does Santa like to ride? A Holly Davidson!

41. How do sheep wish each other happy holidays? Merry Christmas to ewe.

42. What do you get when Santa becomes a detective? Santa CLUES!

43. What is an elf’s favorite sport? North-pole vaulting.

44. How does a snowman lose weight? He waits for the weather to get warmer!

45. What does Mrs. Claus say to Santa when there are clouds in the sky? It looks like rain, deer.

46. What did one snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

47. What do snowmen take when the sun gets too hot? A chill pill.

48. What should you give your parents at Christmas? A list of what you want.

49. What does a grumpy sheep say when his friends told him Merry Christmas? Baaaa humbug!

50. Who delivers Christmas presents to elephants? Elephanta Claus.

Surely one of these jokes, or a few will land with your family. Merry Christmas to you and yours!

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