Empaths are like fly traps for narcissists. People who carry empathy and lead with love tend to oftentimes be caught in the crosshairs of a narcissist who wants to take advantage of them. Empathic people can often be drawn into relationships with narcissists because narcissists look for validation and empaths are the easiest source of delivering this to them.
Having a narcissist in your life is difficult enough as it is even in the day to day operating of life. Being in a romantic relationship with a narcissist is the most difficult because this close connection leads to emotional entanglement that can amplify and compound over time. This can lead to health harming levels of stress, anxiety, questioning your sense of self, your self worth, self love and so much more.
If you read this article and recognize traits that are in your partner, you may be in a relationship with a narcissist. It is important to recognize that if you are in a relationship with a narcissist that you do not have to stay in that relationship and that there are tactics and strategies to defend against the attacks of a narcissist. Here are 7 mental approaches to stop a narcissist in their tracks.
Today we’ll be exploring 10 things that happen when you’re in a relationship with a narcissist and what to do about them.
10 Signs You’re in A Relationship With A Narcissist
1. Narcissists Seek Out Empaths:
According to a website known as psychology today “Highly sensitive people can become targets for narcissists.” Psychology Today goes on to share that narcissists are expert emotional manipulators and warn you that this can make an empath an easy target for them. An empath’s strong compassion makes them highly vulnerable to a narcissist’s manipulation tactics. If you sense that manipulation is ongoing and your empathy is something they prey on, take two steps back and assess the situation with a neutral mindset. Don’t let them get you caught up in their emotionally manipulative tactics.
2. The Empath Get’s Lost in Narcissists Feelings:
This is a classic sign that you’re in a relationship with a narcissist. How often are your feelings considered? Are you putting your partners feelings above yours? If that’s the case you’re caught in emotional entanglement with a narcissist and this will lead nowhere positive. If you continue to feed your emotional empathy to the narcissist they will continue to prey on you because this is what their ego needs to keep this narcissistic behavior alive. Recognize that empathy has a time and a place and while important you should not let it overtake your connection to your own emotions and feelings.
3. Narcissists Feed Off The Kindness Of The Empath:
Narcissists need constant praise and admiration and because of this they feed off the kindness of the empathic person. They do this constantly at it is a source of fuel for their ego. They have an insatiable appetite to be fed praise and admiration because this is not something they generate from within, even though this is the healthiest form of praise and admiration. Pay attention to how kind you are and how kind your partner is back to you. Be fair and mindful in your discernment of the reality of the situation. Perhaps there is more balance here than you think, but perhaps there isn’t.
4. The Narcissist Uses This Type Of Manipulation Against The Empath:
Psychology today shares that narcissists will use manipulation in many forms. They will charm, deceive, manipulate. Whatever it takes to ultimately have the upper hand. The control to continuously manipulate the relationship to their will. For them the control is how they continuously use and abuse their partner. Control gives them the upper hand and power that they then use against their own partner to get what they want. The crazy part about this manipulative energy is that they get what they want in the relationship but they completely miss what they need, which is why they still feel empty atll the time.
5. The Empath Enjoys Praising The Narcissist:
Being an empathic person is valuable in life because it opens you up to being vulnerable and real with people. This allows you to connect on a more deeper level especially in comparison to people who are numb or closed off completely. Being vulnerable with a narcissist however backfires because the narcissist uses this empathy to garner as much praise as possible. As an empathic person you may enjoy praising people and lifting them up. This is a good thing in general, but with a narcissist it only fills their overly inflated ego. This leads to further manipulation and abuse because they think they have you by the balls. The empath feels good about praising the narcissist because it makes them feel needed. This only feeds more codependent behavior, giving the narcissistic person more power and control to manipulate further however.
6. The Empath Believes The Narcissist is ‘Special’ or ‘Misunderstood’
Empathic people have so much empathy that they can see someone who is different, or that stands out and defend them along with their toxic behavior. Everyone is ‘special’ because we’re all unique. So being special really doesn’t say anything. Being misunderstood may be accurate as healthy rational people do not understand the behavior of a narcissist because they do not operate in this manner. Psychology today shares that because empaths want to see the good in everyone so they elevate their partner. Seeing the good in everyone is a positive trait but you also have to see the reality of the situation. At the end of the day being an optimist may be better than being a pessimist, but being a realist trumps them all.
7. The Narcissist Lacks Empathy in The Relationship:
Psychology today shares that narcissists will overlook the empathy of their partner every single time in favor of themeslves. If you recognize that your partner simply does not have empathy for you or how you feel, this is a big red flag. Narcissists will fail to address or even see your emotional needs. Think about how this plays out longterm. It’s not pretty.
8. The Narcissist Will Gaslight & Use Mind Games:
The narcissist is a master manipulator and will use many differnt tactics including gaslighting to manipulate their empathetic partner. They will lie, change the story, say something never happened. Whatever it takes to ring around the rosie the story back to their favor. They seek the upper-hand, control and domination of the conversation. They need to control the narrative of past events to ensure they have the upper hand. Click here to learn more about the manipulative art of gaslighting and how that can impact you.
9. The Narcissist Has To Be Superior To The Empath:
The narcissist sees themselves as superior in any situation and to an empath? Forget about it. They are superior, in their minds at least. They see themselves as ‘better than’ and won’t change their perspective on this. We are all human and having someone (especially in a relationship) feel like they are better than you all the time is quite disrespectful and downright rude.
10. If You’re Empathic With A Narcissist – Seek Support
We often forget that we live in a world full of people who are supportive and want ot help us especially when we need it. If you found yourself in a relationship with a narcissist as an empathic person seek support, help and guidance. There are many people in your life that can support you through this. Family, friends, neighbors. Whoever it may be. Don’t be afraid to ask for help or even a perspective that will open your eyes to the reality of your relationship without your confusion at play. People are here to help you, so is God. Don’t be afraid to pray and ask for guidance from a higher power.