Being a man or a woman on tinder, bumble, hinge or any other dating app is a completely different experience. Flip side of the coin for either sex in many ways. Men are like hunters on these platforms, heat-seeking missiles while women are like gardeners and gatherers. Just cherry picking who they want to meet and date. It’s a completely different experience and this ‘tinder experiment’ proved that to be more true than we thought!
An 18 year old woman by the name of Sada has created a tinder account using pictures of a man. She’s pretending to be a man to see what it’s like being in a man’s shoes on the app ‘tinder’ in the dating world. She’s a smart girl and quite sympathetic to men, so she’ll probably learn some interesting things! Quite the experiment setup.
The man starting the experiment has given Sada instructions to match with as many women as possible, engage in conversation and set up dates. The woman says before the experiment “This will be easy, because you’re attractive.” Little does she know that the experience for men on tinder is far different from the experience that women have.
She writes his bio “Hi, my name is Alex. I live and work in Lisbon as a psychologist. Looking for a nice lady to develop a meaningful relationship with and to enjoy the simple pleasures of life.”
Sada shares that on the first day she only got 5 matches.
Out of the group of 5, one was really gorgeous. One of the women responded in very short messages, two or three words. Saba shares ‘Get the hell out of here!’
Day 3: 28 matches in a single day. She shares ‘on average, those women were not that good looking.’
She continues ‘oh, this one is interesting. A little more skin. A booty pic, I don’t know why.’
Day 5: Just one match.
Sada shares “I was so confused. How can I get these women to go on dates if they don’t even reply to me?”
“If we match, why aren’t we talking? I matched with so many and I got no response. I saw a lot of instagram stuff, like follow me on instagram.”
“If I compare the experience that a man has on a dating app and a woman has on a dating app. It is much different. I didn’t think it would be like this. I put that he was a psychologist, I thought that was interesting. I just feel down at this point. It isn’t even me. There are maybe some psychological effects. I really thought it would be easier. I really wasn’t expecting this.”
“This whole thing is weird to me. Guys don’t stop replying on dating apps. They don’t just ghost.”
The man shares “When you first create a new account, it pushes you into the algorithm and it pushes you into a lot of new accounts. But it was just at the beginning. Initial success wasn’t really due to anything but is completely artificial.”
Essentially, tinder and other dating apps frontload the matches so you feel like ‘Wow! This app is great and I can get dates anytime on this app.’ But the app has diminishing matches over time.
From a man’s perspective, half the women (or more) on these apps like tinder and bumble are on here to promote their social media accounts, or for the simple satisfaction of matching without actually going on a date or even meeting, or chatting on the phone.
Sada learned that women are very challenging on these dating apps and that getting much more than a ‘hi’ on the app is quite challenging.
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So what’s the lesson in all of this? As a man most of these swipe-based dating apps are a complete waste of time. They do nothing but show you a lot of pictures of women who are mostly not really interested in dating or matching, even if they do match with you. The experience for women is far different. Women get the attention, the replies and can pick and choose who they’d like to get to know better.
But the caveat is this, most men on tinder are swiping right on you like a menu item at a restaurant. They want to taste, but they don’t want to take the whole kitchen home with them.
These apps have really promoted the ‘hookup culture’ and have diminished the real value and growth of real relationships. It’s best to meet people in real life to get a feel for their energy, their sense of personality, their interests and so much more.
It is far harder to fake all of these things in person that it is to create the most ideal version of yourself online in a dating app.
One thing’s for certain, the dating experience for men and women whether on tinder, bumble, hinge or any of the rest of them is far different than the opposite sex. Maybe someone can develop an app that focuses on aspects other than visual, lead with interests and experiences first, and then reveal more later on.
